*SPOILERS ALERT!*
I stopped watching the Lifetime channel movies long ago. But every now and then a new movie would catch my eye and draw my curiosity and the movie Pregnancy Pact did just that. It was a fictional movie based loosely on the teen pregnancy drama of Gloucester, Massachusetts that happened in 2008, where several teen girls became pregnant at the same time.
I wasn’t quite sure what to expect but as I sat through the movie, I became angrier and angrier. Of course the movie had to have a conservative Christian mom and of course that mom had to be the mother of one of the expectant teen girls. And of course she had to be the one who pushed for no contraceptives on school premises and had to be the one to jump on the contraceptive bandwagon at the end of the movie.
The movie was pitiful as you see the girls gleefully decide to have babies at the same time so that their children can be lifelong friends as many of them were, knowing one another since they were so little. They fantasized how their babies’ fathers would be with them, and how they would take care of them and etc. But in the latter part of the movie, many of the girls found out that their fantasizing was just that as life proved to be much more difficult than imagined.
The problem wasn’t so much the availability of contraception as most of the girls WANTED babies. What contributes to a young girl’s mind to want to have a child out of wedlock and before she can marry and provide for it? In the movie there were glimpses of possible reasons. There was a magazine cover of Jaime Lynn Spears and her baby, Brittany spears teen sister who had a baby. There were parents who weren’t home to monitor their children’s whereabouts or parents who believed there children wouldn’t do anything when left alone in the house with their boyfriend as the conservative mother believed of her “saintly” daughter.
The movie was good in showing the consequences of such irresponsible behavior. One girl’s baby was born prematurely, while others boyfriends had completely forsaken them. Other’s saw that there wasn’t the availability of on campus childcare. It showed that it wasn’t as glamorous being a teen mom as they had fantasized.
Many questions arose from watching this movie like the following:
- Does abstinence teaching in public schools have any positive affects?
- Should girls who are expecting babies stay in the same schools throughout their pregnancy? Images of big bellies walking through school hallways or girls with babies pushing strollers made you wonder if other girls yearned for the same.
- Should there be daycare centers on the school ground? How many girls secretly longed for cute little babies like they saw in the daycare?
- Would birth control clinics have provided a means of birth prevention among the teens?
- Should abstinence AND contraception be taught together?
- What can the parent do to keep their child from glamorizing having a baby?
According to the workbook provided by Lifetime, 73% of parents believe both abstinence and contraception should be taught together. I agree to a point and that explaining contraception should be a part of the overall sex talk a parent would have with their child. But to have contraception available is where it I would draw the line. Having contraception available does send the message that it’s okay to have sex. I grew up being taught to wait until marriage but was told that birth control would be provided if I needed them. Well, I took that as a go and did ask my parents for birth control pills. I didn’t think otherwise as I didn’t have an upbringing which taught that having sex was biblically wrong to do.
In the movie, although contraceptives weren’t made available abstinence teachings were allowed. As a Christian, I see a problem with teaching abstinence without teaching WHY one should abstain. Without the why, biblical admonition – and without the how – through a relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ – abstinence teachings become near impossible! It’s hard enough to the committed Christian letting alone teaching it without a strong spiritual foundation.
For the Christian family teaching sex is a definite no as it goes against biblical principals. Any sex outside of marriage is condemned (see Galatians 5:19, Ephesians 5:3, and Colossians 3:5). So what should the Christian family do?
- State your values and stick to them! – The bible is clear that there should be no sex before marriage. Don’t compromise God’s values to match the world’s values.
- Communicate EARLY with your children. Do age specific conversations with your children about sex and your expectations of them regarding it.
- DO NOT send mixed signals such as saying no to sex but yes to contraceptives. No means no!
- Get your children involved with youth groups at church (get referrals for good groups).
- Be active in your children’s schools and know what is being taught as far as sex and birth control are concerned.
- And be proactive in supervision. Never assume your child is strong enough to handle tempting situations!
These are just a few of the known tips I followed myself in raising my five children. Not all of my children abstained before marriage but that didn’t change my values. Two of my children as young adults in their early twenties, are still virgins. They have already proven wrong the theory that “all teens will have sex” as they both have chosen not to.
Times are modern and sexual views have changed over the years, but God and his Word never changes! Recognize God’s values, be an example to your children and live by them and then teach with the expectation that your children can make it!
15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. 17 And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever. 1 John 2:15-17
Updated 1/27/10
