For the Christian, there has to be nothing more painful than knowing that a family member is struggling with or living defiantly in a lifestyle contrary to God’s moral laws. Whether it be drugs, addictions, sexual immorality of all kinds and various other offenses against God. It’s extremely painful for all involved.
I recently received an email from a reader of my blog desperate for answers in how to cope with her daughter who is a lesbian. This reader has done the best she could in raising a child up in a godly home. But circumstances beyond her control have led her daughter to choose the lesbian lifestyle. What shall she do?
After watching my aunt deal with my lesbian cousin, I’ve learned a lot how one can successfully cope with an LGBT (lesbian, gay, bi-sexual or transgendered) family member while not losing one’s heart, hope and mind in the process.
Here’s a list of a few things that I’ve witnessed from my aunt and others who are coping well:
- Pray! Immediately put that family in your prayers and ask God for their deliverance. Deliverance either through salvation or if they are a struggling Christian, pray for their strength to leave the gay lifestyle once and for all. (See post on Can you be a Christian and a homosexual). Ask God also for the strength and wisdom to deal with the situation as God will turn your trial into triumph! (Hebrews 11 entire chapter)
Evening and morning and at noon I will pray, and cry aloud, And He shall hear my voice. – Psalm 55:17 – NKJV
- Don’t tackle this alone! Seek godly counsel and I mean GOD-ly counsel, counsel from Christians that you know do who do not water down God’s word and are wise as well as loving people. Find Christian friends who will stand with you in prayer and support!
BLESSED is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night. - Psalm 1:1-2 NKJV - Let that family member know that you love them, but you stand with God’s word that says that homosexuality is a sin. Give the scriptures so that they know it’s not of your personal opinion but as God says it is in both the Old and New Testaments. (Leviticus 18:22, 20:13; 1 Corinthians 6:9; Romans 1:26-27)
For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature.Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due. – Rom 1:26-27
NKJV - And always have hope that your family member will change. While hoping for the best, accept them where they are in their lives. That old saying to hate the sin and love the sinner still holds very true!
(Love) . . . bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. – 1Corinthians 13:7 NKJV
- Don’t take it personally and carry guilt for something you believe you didn’t do right. There is no such thing as a perfect parent so even if you did feel you made a few mistakes along the way – ask God to forgive you and forgive yourself then let it go! Guilt will do nothing more than eat at your very soul if you allow it.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1John 1:9 NKJV - If that person professes to be gay but doesn’t profess to be a Christian, then associate with them as you normally would. If it’s a child, don’t throw them out in the streets but love them and let them know that no homosexual activity will be allowed in your home and they won’t be allowed to be associated with gay friends outside of school activities (if this can be helped).
- Professing Christians have to be handled differently. As with any sin, a person who professes to know Christ but persists in sin has to be handled with very tough love. “
“I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked man from among you.” 1 Corinthians 5:9-13
Persistent sin is serious among believers and if you know anyone who calls himself belonging to Christ and practices sin, then they must be disassociated (except for your dependent children). I would think twice about what I’m doing if family and friends chose not to have anything to do with me because of my practice of a particular sin. This is different than a person knowingly struggling and is repentful and trying to change.
These are just a few suggestions and I know there are plenty others that many can share. I know many non-believers and some professing Christians would criticize this article as ridiculous, believing that there shouldn’t be any issue in coping with a homosexual family member. But if you truly love God’s word and hate sin as He does, then yes, coping with sinful lifestyles becomes something major in life to tackle!
Don’t lose hope people and all one has to do is to look at the many ex-homosexuals whose testimonies I have plastered all over my blog. Some of you have been a little confused thinking that I am also an ex-gay. I’m not, but when many members of the LGBT community visited my blog during my activism for Prop 8 to ban gay marriages, I decided then to present information that it IS possible to change from being gay and that there is hope for friends and family members who want change for their loved ones.
Just remember, with Christ, ALL things are possible!
Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” – Mark 9:23 NKJV
Updated 1/8/12
© 2011 – 2013, Carlotta Morrow. All rights reserved.
My younger brother, who is 18, has recently come out to the family stating he is gay. Although this came to a surprise to most in the family, I knew for many, many years that my brother struggled with this part of himself. It was no surprise to me when he finally came out about it. When my brother was 12 years old, for instance, I remember him coming to me crying and explaining how much he was bullied by kids who claimed he was gay, etc. He talked to me a lot back then about how he felt he might be gay. He liked girls, but found no physical interest in them but wasn’t actively dating any guys either. At the time he was young, so I basically told him to not worry so much about it and whatever comes later in life will come. He struggled a lot with his identity in those years. At one point, cutting his wrists that caused marks and gained the attention of his friends and school administration. He was not a happy kid back then, and it showed.
When he finally came out, it has been like a 180 degree turn. He has tons of friends, many of which are straight and all of which are good influences on his life. He’s active in academics, thinking of going into college after graduating later this year. He is animated, optimistic and very level headed. He may still be bullied but his self-esteem is high enough to where he can brush all of it off. He is happy. And I couldn’t be happier for him.
Recently, I got into a huge argument with my aunt over the state of my brother’s life. My aunt is a “born again christian”, and as such, tends to have a strong opinion on such subjects. My aunt has never been particularly close to my brother and I, and has a tendency to concern herself with what she perceives as the “negatives” of other people in the family. She’s extremely judgmental although I’m sure she wouldn’t agree with that statement. She claimed my brother was making “wrong choices”. She claimed that by being gay my brother is putting himself at risk of getting involved in drugs and delinquencies. And by labeling himself as “gay”, my Aunt claims, he puts himself in the “cult-like” gay culture. As if, by being gay, you are held captive in that state by other gays.
That being said, my aunt doesn’t know my brother like I do. Really, she hardly knows a thing about him: his interests, his social life, anything. She never knew half of the struggles I saw in him. She can’t wrap her head around the idea that my brother, perhaps, is not making any choice but is finally understanding and accepting what and who he is. Sure, there are some that may “choose” this life, but I highly disagree with that assumption when it comes to my brother.
Of course I don’t expect someone like my Aunt to accept my brother’s “choice”. Nor does my brother. She is entitled to her beliefs and by no means should she ever be expected to change her opinion. But I seem to find a reoccurring ideology with many practicing Christians that assume the role of “moral enforcer”. It’s one thing to disagree, it’s another to cast judgement and demand change to better fit your own morality. I don’t understand why some feel the need to step so far over this line.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Woofles, your aunt may be a little bit judgmental in her assessment of your brother, but she is on point in her belief that there is something immoral about his chosen lifestyle. As a Christian, homosexuality is known as a sin and a choice that one makes to act upon. Your aunt shouldn’t have to accept your brother’s choice, but she can be more accepting of him as a person and especially as her nephew. Hopefully your aunt is speaking more about your brother loving Jesus Christ and that love is shown through obedience. If your brother (or yourself) do not make any claim in believing in Christ, then what’s most important is becoming born-again. Once that happens then what you do with your life from that moment on will dictate how you live the Christlike life. Even if your aunt was more accepting of him, because of her stance on homosexuality it would be doubtful he would be accepting of her. I know because it’s the same in my family. I have a gay nephew and his mother, my sister, I am very close to. We were all very close in his youth but as he got older and becoming more public about his sexual choice, he became more distant from me because of my views on homosexuality. I haven’t treated him any differently. I’ve accepted the fact that when a person takes a biblical stand on anything and it goes against the grain, you will not be held in any favor by those who oppose.
I really like what your aunt said about the “cult” of the gay culture, because cultlike is what exactly the gay culture has become in our country. Sadly but very true. All in all I hope that your aunt will show less condemnation and acceptance of your brother in spite of her beliefs. As far as her going over the line as a “moral enforcer,” many of us appear that way because our family we are closest to and love the most, so it is our family that we are striving to have “saved” from worldliness first.
I cannot express how hypocritical you sound when you agree with the idea that the gay community is likened to a “cult”…. and then turn around and claim that the most important thing my brother (and apparently I) can do is to become born again and follow in a christlike life. As if to join in on your “cult” for the sake of leaving another. As if your choices and decisions need to be extended to my own. Brilliant.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Well personally Woofles, I don’t view the gay culture as a cult just yet. It is a culture, a way of life for many and for folks that simply want to be accepted for who they are. So I don’t view the LGBT community as cultists. It can be that way with individuals, but as a whole group I don’t consider them as such. I guess it would sound kind of hypocritical from your perspective. But from mine, I just view the LGBT community right now as a people like anyone else who need God in their lives – and that God is Jesus Christ.
My daughter struggled in HS with a ‘friend’ that pushed her to be gay. She admitted it was wrong. In college she met a very nice christian girl, it became a bad relationship (both being in typical relationships with boys, but hurtful breakups-we believe they fely ‘safe’ together)and they became a couple. Both knowing it was wrong, they searched for reasons/facts that it was right. The other girl left the relationship. My daughter attempted to take her own life. We found her just in time. She is now ‘flaunting’ her lifestyle horribly. our family is very hurt and ashamed. We live on the edge if we say anything, afraid she may take her life. We pray alot, but feel lost. She justifies everything she believes in right now. We are praying this ends soon, but at times we doubt. We cannot believe God would let our family hurt like this. We have always practiced our faith. Our faith is being tested soo much everyday. Please keep us in your prayers.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Christian mom, I am definitely keeping your family in prayer! Do you belong to a church and if you do is there family counseling available? If not for your daughter but for you as a family and how to deal with what you are going through. Don’t be ashamed of your daughter and accept her where she is. It doesn’t mean you have to accept her behavior, but she needs all the love she can get from her family. God is not the cause of your pain but because He has given us freewill, we will suffer the consequences of sin – and in your case the sin of a family member. But you aren’t alone as God is with you and also those of us who share your pain and will pray for you!
It doesn’t take a genius to notice that 90% of all the comments here use three monotonous words and phrases: sin, gay lifestyle, and choice. What is important is whether or not we actually understand these three words and phrases.
Homosexuality is not a sin. The dictionary definition of sin is “in Abrahamic contexts, sin is the act of violating God’s will…” Being gay is not an action, more of an orientation. Leviticus 18:22 for instance defies the sin of sexual intercourse between two men, not the committed relationship of a same-sex couple.
The “gay lifestyle” as per what the overwhelming majority of commentators refer to the gay sexual orientation does not accurately describe what the millions of committed same-sex couples in the United States.
A majority of professional, Western, medical, psychological associations such as the American Psychological Association, the American Assocation of Pediatrics, and the American Psychiatric Assocation all have the consensus that homosexuality is not just a natural variation of human sexuality, but also possibly the result of genetics and biological factors: but not choice. It seems as though majority of commentators here ignore the research and data conducted by all credible Western physiological associations.
Research conducted by the American Physocological Assocation also shows that people tend to assume sexual orientation is…
“solely a characteristic of an individual, like biological sex, gender identity, or age. This perspective is incomplete because sexual orientation is defined in terms of relationships with others. People express their sexual orientation through behaviors with others, including such simple actions as holding hands or kissing. Thus, sexual orientation is closely tied to the intimate personal relationships that meet deeply felt needs for love, attachment, and intimacy. In addition to sexual behaviors, these bonds include nonsexual physical affection between partners, shared goals and values, mutual support, and ongoing commitment. Therefore, sexual orientation is not merely a personal characteristic within an individual. Rather, one’s sexual orientation defines the group of people in which one is likely to find the satisfying and fulfilling romantic relationships that are an essential component of personal identity for many people.”
Research also shows that anti gay attitudes, as per many commentators shared, have an incredibly negative impact on LGB individuals. This can include heightened suicide rates, depression, Social Personality Disorder, anxiety, and in extreme but not uncommonly, suicide. Referring to same-sex relationships and the gay, lesbian and bisexual orientations as a lifestyle, disorder, or sin can have incredibly malformed impacts on individuals.
Although many Christians uphold the Bible as being divine word and knowledge, we must acknowledge that it has gone through an evolution caused by translation, age, and mere human imperfection. We must also not discredit the relevance that major Pyschological associations today pocess.
About twice from which I recall through my readings Carlotta Morrow mentioned Ex-Gay therapies as an option to either suppress or extinguish homosexuality. But modern research has determined that…
To date, there has been no scientifically adequate research to show that therapy aimed at changing sexual orientation (sometimes called reparative or conversion therapy) is safe or effective. Furthermore, it seems likely that the promotion of change therapies reinforces stereotypes and contributes to a negative climate for lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons. This appears to be especially likely for lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals who grow up in more conservative religious settings.
Even then president of Exodus International Alan Chambers in January of 2012 stated that 99.9% of participants of conversion therapies actually experience changes in sexual orientation or attractions. The organization has since stopped claiming to be able to completely “cure” homosexuality, and even recommends not seeing doctors who claim to be able to completely cure homosexuality.
Another assumption that people have is that homosexuality is deviated and unnatural, but more than 1500 species of animals have been found to also display homosexuality in their general populations.
What I find most interesting is that many commentators here use religious rhetoric and personal opinion to defy what homosexuality at a moral standpoint is. I ask who are we to determine what is morally acceptable and what isn’t. The Bible is nearly 1400 years old per publication, and even then there are multiple versions of the book itself. We can believe the Bible is the word of God, but do not discredit what organizations such as the American Psychological Association have found through research.
What I hope anyone gets from my comment is that what most commentators published is not supported by contemporary medical research. Also that what many people are saying has dire consequences. Gay and lesbians make up over 30% of all suicides today. More than likely the result of discrimination and stigma.
Lastly, no one should need to cope with one’s child’s sexual orientation. We just need to accept our child for who they are albeit your own personal prejudice. Coping is a gaudy and deplorable word to describe the delicate process of acceptance and love. We do not cope our children, we love them.
As per Conversion Therapies, I actually meant “99.9% of participants don’t* actually experience…”
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Artpop, you quote the American Psychiatric/Psychological Association as I quote the bible. You say homosexuality is not a sin and the scriptures clearly say it is. You say no one needs to cope with a child’s sexual orientation while scriptures say we should always deal with sin and teach our children the way of our Lord. Love is also speaking the truth and it is a loveless deed if you withhold the truth from someone who needs it. As painful as truth may be, it is an act of true love.
Proverbs 27:6
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
As far as discrediting professional organizations and their research, if any of it contradicts God’s word, then the line must be drawn: man’s wisdom or God’s? I am not impressed with the APA and their research as they have become quite biased against anything with a religious slant.
Now I for one don’t like “therapies” because I believe first and foremost in a spiritual conversion for a true change in life. One can only share Christ with someone and pray that they accept Him and believe in His words for a true change in lifestyle. Christian counseling for those seeking to change from homosexuality I am all for. But to force someone who has no desire to change I’m not supportive of at all.
Sadly, our culture is changing as it attempts to give homosexuality full acceptance, but there will be those of us who remain faithful to what God says is right and wrong and live our lives accordingly. Homosexuality is sin and will never be accepted by God no matter how much the USA makes it mainstream.
Oh God!I’m so happy to find you here Charlotte.My 20y old daughter called me at 10:30pm (03/14/13)to let me know that she’s gay.Of course,I denied to agree w/her.”NO, YOU ARE NOT” I said to her firmily.Then, I gave the phone to her dad because I couldn’t say to him why she was calling us for.We(her dad and I)are living a “nightmare” life after that terrible phone call.Our happiness is gone but I still calling/texting my daughter although every time I do I would say to her that she’s choosing this wrong life style(and I call her “friend”, a devil).Then, I cry again and again.As matter fact, I stopped to bring her to any church (we are catholics)when she was 8 y old. (All because I never “accepted” that some priests sexually abused children -).I thought that I was doing well protecting her from to be touched by anyone.Although I still not going to mass or so, I do believe in Jesus, in God and no Spirit Saint and I pray every morning e night before bed but now I am praying every time (all day) I think about my daughter’s wrong path of life. (By the way, what’s wrong w/ this world that EVERY ONE IS TURNING GAY?).It’s so easy for them just come to us (parents, friends, etc) e say: I AM GAY! (Nothing against to those who really are (in my opinion,if someone is gay the signs will appear when you are a child).After that, I believe it’s influence of the society,schools,friends, etc).All this Charlotte, to ask you please, is there a pray that I could ask God thru Jesus to come inside of my daughter’s heart, soul and conscience and make her to believe that this is wrong, that this is not her, that this is a sin, that she’s influenciate by the DEVIL.(I do believe that most of us, human beens, have sometimes attraction for the sin and it’s up to us say yes or not to it ( TO DEVIL). Please help me God! Tks a lot!
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Ilva, you are doing the right thing by giving your daughter over to God in prayer. If she claims to be a Christian, then after sharing God’s word with her on how her lifestyle is sinful and she continues to rebel and ignores the bible, there’s nothing else you can do but continue to pray for her. If she’s not a Christian, I would pray that she becomes saved first, because after becoming saved then it becomes her love for God that will dictate her obedience.
Homosexual sin like any other sin is selfish. The person stops being about pleasing God and becomes being about pleasing themselves. So I will pray for your daughter to grow in her love for God so much so that her desire for any sinful lifestyle disappears!
Thank you for sharing your experiences and what you are going through. Praying for you!
So it’s a sin to be who God made you to be?
Homosexuality is not a choice, just as heterosexuality is not a choice. You are born the way you are.
I know that many of you disagree with me, but I am a lesbian and I’m not a bad or evil person. I get straight-A’s, treat people nicely and with respect, and aim to be a language arts teacher when I grow up, to help children learn. One cannot “turn” straight. I am simply not attracted to those of opposite gender. So while you are busy praying for me to not be what God made me to be, I will be praying for you to accept people for who they are.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
There is something more than your homosexuality I would pray for, and that is whether you know Jesus or not. Have you been born again? That is the most important question to you that I would ask.
That question is so important because it will dictate how you live your life. The closer you grow to Christ, the more you want to be like Him. So Erin, have you been born again? (John 3:3 – entire chapter)
It breaks my heart to read such anger and pain. I have a gay brother who is struggling with this. What we have come to realise is that the world and its people are living in state that is a result of generation after generation of sin. People do not have a choice about being gay. God did not make my brother gay. It is a consequence of this world and Satan being part of it. He desperately would like a partner and to have a family. He is hurt continually by”chrisitians” calling gay people all sorts of vile names. But he has said that through much prayer and study, it seems as this is just going to be his burden to bear, for the rest of his life. He needs to grieve the loss of all his dreams and keep his focus on the kingdom. He can’t just change his make up, but he has control over his actions. It has been suggested to him to try and date women, but he thinks that is disrespectful to any women to try date under false pretences. He just has to be alone. He hopes for God to change his circumstances but realises that God may allow him to walk this path for other reasons.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
It breaks my heart to see that your brother has been called names and bullied because of his choice of lifestyle. But what can probably be worse is the belief that God can’t change what He calls sin and people DO have a choice! True, God didn’t make your brother gay, but with God all things are possible including your brother no longer living the homosexual life! There are thousands of people who have changed so that only goes to show that it is possible for a gay man to change and live a God-honoring life with joy! (See my section on Ex-Gay advocates)
You say that God may allow your brother to walk his current path? God will allow sin? It is extremely important for your brother that you stay steadfast in what is sin and what is not. God will never allow any of us to walk in a sinful path. So help your brother out by remaining truthful about sin and continue to love him like you do and show him much support!
In my view there is no right and wrong answer. One cannot choose to only believe what one feels should be the society norms. Science and Genealogy have shown numerous studies and thesis that, identify, homosexuality as a genetic characteristic.
Instead of trying to solve the “problem” why not try to accept that there are other people in this world and get rid of your close minded sense of opinion. Some of the comments on this site are far reaching and have no basis for a theoretical explanation.
Many of you try to formulate a way on how to fix, but how can you fix something that is now broken. All you can do is pray for understanding and acceptance, the person you loved is still there. They will never leave.
God Bless, and I pray you all will open your heats and forget what your mind tells you.
Dear Carlotta,
Most posts have given me much hope. I’m a practicing Catholic, and few days ago, I learned that my daughter, senior in HS and 18 years old, has an inclination for a girl. Let me say that it was my bad to ignore the fact that this girl has no religious background, yet, I didn’t see her as harm for my daughter. My daughter has learned through life experiences, anxiety and phobias, that a relationship with God is a “must” in order for her to not allow the enemy to intimidate her. My daughter admited to me that she does not want her dad to find out about this, and that she does NOT want to hurt her dad, she also said she was not sure if she was gay or not. My question to you, is there a spiritual book that I can buy for my daughter, since she did say that she was willing/open to any kind of guidance back to God’s arms. Your prayers for my daughter and her friend, my enemy, would be greatly appreciated.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Maria, I will be praying for you and your family and your daughter’s friend as well. Here are a couple of books that would be great: Someone I love is Gay and When homosexuality hits home.
Both books are written from a Christian perspective and I think it will be very helpful in dealing with your situation. The books are recommended by the Exodus ministries, which deal with helping those involved in homosexual relationships and want out. Here is a link to their recommended books: http://www.exodusbooks.org/ Hope this helps and do keep in touch! Feel free to email me for any private concerns (under contact at first and then I will email you back).
For starters I would like to say that those who say gay people aren’t born gay you are absolutely WRONG! Now I understand some choose to be gay, but that isn’t the case for all. Think about this…if a person grows up in a loving christian home where they go to church every Sunday, praise God, pray to God, and show love for their fellow man do you honestly think they would throw all that out the window and say I am going to be gay? That is a BIG FAT NO! My reply may seem a little angry and I am. Although I have not told anyone of my sexual orientation I am sick and tired of hearing I chose to be attracted to men. I don’t want to disappoint my parents or God which is why I am NEVER telling anyone in my family. I don’t think they will disown me or anything like that, but I just don’t want them carrying my troubles on their shoulders.
I am not trying to justify my feelings either and by the way I have never acted on my feelings which brings me to another point. You can not possibly understand how much it hurts me everyday to think that I am probably going to spend the rest of my life alone.
I would also like to tell anyone that wants to say that my feelings came from my environment and what not that you are totally WRONG as well. I have grown up (I am 17 now) with a loving mother and a loving father. I have two older brothers and an older sister whom all love me. (Once again no one knows of my sexual orientation) I have grown up a normal Christian kid except the fact I am attracted to men. I have always played with the other kids and was never treated differently. I recognized my attraction for the same sex when I was middle school when I started to distant myself from other guys because I realized I was attracted to a couple. My only friends have been girls and only a few guys. Anyways, I want to ask anyone who says that my attraction comes from environment, what exactly from my childhood turned me gay? If you know the answer please tell me.
I would also like to address those that say that God wouldn’t make a gay person. Well I find that absolutely hilarious. He won’t make gay people and yet we have murderers, rapists, and addicts on everything from food to drugs. Now I know some of you are going to use the defense that God gave us freewill to choose what we want and would like to say that we do NOT get to choose what we are like when we are born or who we are born to. Our eye color and other genetic makeup comes before we are even out of our mothers womb. I also know that a “gay gene” has yet to be proven, but I still believe that I am not choosing to be gay and if some of you “Christians” are going to say I am then I really don’t care what you think. God will be my judge not you!
My other problem is that Christians act like they are perfect. NO ONE is perfect and I don’t care if you are saved. Everyone still sins the only difference is as a Christian we repent of our sins. On that note I would like to ask if you think all sins are equal then how is a little lie to your boss about how you got stuck in traffic when you really woke up late any different from a gay person?
Sorry for the long reply I just had tons to say and I could probably say more but I won’t. Thanks for reading those of you that do.
God Bless!
Twitter: christocentric
says:
God bless you too Dan! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I do want to know if you want to be changed from gay to straight? You may feel you have been born gay and I won’t argue with you there. But homosexuality is a moral state, a state that can be changed if you desire. There are many who have changed but it comes with the desire to change. If you want to, then Christ will help you through it. If you don’t want to, then all I can say is grow deeper in your life with Christ. Study His word and live it. If you are struggling and want to get out of this lifestyle, there is definitely a way out. There are many examples on my blog of ex-gays under my links titled “Ex-gay advocates.”
Again, thank you for sharing as I know it must be very difficult to be in the situation you’re in and not having any family members know at all. But you’re welcomed to share more if you’d like!
When you ask me if I want to change that is a very difficult question to answer. It is a difficult question because I don’t want to disappoint God or my parents. I want be straight to a point. When I think about my future I don’t see myself with a woman. Actually I don’t even see myself with a man because of what I have grown up learning. I normally just picture myself alone because I am not attracted to women in any way and I don’t want to fill that spot with a man and disappoint everyone. I know anything is possible with the help of the Lord, but I honestly don’t see myself suddenly becoming attracted to women. As for your ex-gays I don’t know that I believe they were originally gay. Like I said before I think they probably chose their lifestyle cause by the age of 12 I already knew I was attracted to other guys.
Also if you wouldn’t mind could you please tell me why you can’t be gay and a Christian? I get the Bible says homosexual behavior is wrong, but as I previously said so is lying, adultery(I am pretty sure it would be considered adultery if you have been married and gotten a divorce), having sex without being married and other things that Christians do daily.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Dan, I asked you if you wanted to change because it’s a sign of your acknowledgment of homosexuality being a sin. If it’s a sin, which it clearly is in both Old and New Testaments (Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, 1 Corinthians 6:9, Romans 1:26-27), and if you love our Lord, then your next step then would be to please our Lord by not committing the sinful act. Now we aren’t perfect, so those of us striving for perfection can sometimes slip and fall on the way to spiritual maturity which is why I believe one can have gay sex and still be a Christian.
The person who refuses to acknowledge homosexuality as sin while claiming to be a Christian is where the line must be drawn. Becoming a Christian involves repentance, and if there is no repentance which is acknowledging sin and wanting to be saved from it, then there’s no real Christ in that person’s life. So no, you can not be a PRACTICING gay and Christian at the same time.
The bottom line IS about pleasing and loving God. By pleasing God in your case, your parents will be pleased too! But pleasing God through obedience goes hand in hand with loving God. Jesus Himself has said that those who love Him are those who obey Him. (John 14:15,21; John 15:14)
So Dan, it’s really between you and your love for God that will determine your obedience to Him. We are all born into a sinful state remember (Psalm 51:5) so just because we are born with desires that may be contrary to God’s commandments, doesn’t make those desires acceptable by God. As a mother, if all five of my children were born without any sinful desires, raising them would have been so much easier! So yes, we come into this world with rough edges and it’s God who must smooth them all out!
Dan the question you must ask yourself is this: “How much do I love you Lord?” The answer to that question will determine your obedience to Him.
I have already addressed with the Lord my feelings. You still can’t understand though and I am not trying to be rude so please don’t take it that way. You see I mean that there are many people who are active gay Christians and then there are Christians who say you can’t be both. It is very confusing and both sides say I need to study the Bible myself and I am currently attempting that just a little each day. I just get the feel that too many people focus too much on homosexuals.
Could you please answer a question though.
How is a gay Christian any different from a Christian who lies daily or even just a couple times a week? From my understanding of the Bible God says liars won’t inherit the kingdom of God. I am not trying to justify any sin(please don’t think I am) I am just genuinely curious as to what your opinion is.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Dan, studying the bible is your best bet for getting many of your questions answered. I would encourage you not to worry about what this person is doing or what that person is doing, but find out what God wants YOU to do and you do it! Other people will have to answer to God about their lives, but meanwhile you soak the Words of God through your mind, heart and soul and God will show you the way!
As far as focusing on homosexuality, yes it does appear to be that way. The reason being is because no other “sin” flaunts itself and pushes for acceptance and rebels against God so much more so than homosexuality. It is affecting every aspect of our lives – marriage, family, jobs, schools, political and religious spectrums and you name it. If what people did in their bedrooms remained as such then not too much would be made about it. But because gay people aren’t satisfied in just being accepted as fellow human beings, they are pushing us to accept their lifestyles and attempt to make life miserable for those of us who don’t even agree with them! So the only reason it seems like that’s all Christians deal with, it’s really because we are being forced to do so.
Read below the entire chapter of 1 Corinthians Chapter 5. It deals with those who practice sexual sin and “puffed up” about it which is another way of saying they are proud and flaunt their sin (gay pride parades come to mind here). This chapter shows the seriousness of habitual unrepentant sexual sin and how the church must deal with it’s Christians that practice such sins. This is not just homosexuality, but ANY sexual sin. The bottom line Dan is that there is no in between. You are either obeying God and pleasing him, or you are not. I understand you are on a journey, and I hope a journey that you will eventually find great peace with!
1 Corinthians 5
New King James Version (NKJV)
Immorality Defiles the Church
5 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even name among the Gentiles—that a man has his father’s wife! 2 And you are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he who has done this deed might be taken away from among you. 3 For I indeed, as absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged (as though I were present) him who has so done this deed. 4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, 5 deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
6 Your glorying is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? 7 Therefore purge out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, since you truly are unleavened. For indeed Christ, our Passover, was sacrificed for us. 8 Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.
Immorality Must Be Judged
9 I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. 10 Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. 11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.
12 For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? 13 But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person.”
Thank you Lord for leading me to this web page. This gives me hope! I appreciate all of Carlotta’s words and so thankful for “the mother’s” word of Feb. 2, 2011. This will all be printed for me to read every day. God bless you all.
you people are crazy, lesbians and gays don’t wake up and say “hey today im gay.” We are not sick, just like there are ungodly gays there are ungodly straight people. It is a choice some make but not all of us do, we stay true to ourselves and that’s why we are who we are. I am catholic and i have spoken to my priest about this, he says, NONE OF YOU ARE TO JUDGE, this is between me and my maker! I am comfortable with my salvation in God and me and my partner pray every night for eachother and our families.
THOSE WHO HAVE NOT SINNED THROW THE FIRST STONE……..that’s what i thought
Yall really are a bunch of looney people
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Brittinay, what is key here is that you are comfortable in your salvation in God with your same-sex partner. If you without a doubt can read the scriptures and come to the conclusion that God approves of your relationship and that you aren’t committing sexual immorality, then yes, that becomes between you and God for that. Just to refresh your mind regarding the scriptures regarding homosexuality and sin in general:
Spiritual death is the end result of practicing ungodliness without any repentance. Just be careful that what you are practicing truly is approved by God or the end results won’t be too glorious.
Oh my, Carlotta, you have stood God’s ground very well. The genetic argument has already been proven to be false. According to the gene theory of evolutionary biology, if humans were meant to be gay, bisexual, or heterosexual by choice or not, nature would have accommodated this by evolving all humans to be hermaphrodite. Yet, we see this is not the result. We are specifically designed by a very wise Creator to be male and female perfectly adapted physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually for male-female relationships. We also need the love and companionship of same gender relationships but the conflict comes into play when these same gender relationships become sexualized. Persons who are gay/lesbian do not understand why they are this way, just that they are. God did not do this to them. We, unfortunately, live in a fallen world where we are not always able to meet each others relational needs as we often don’t have a good relationship with or understanding of ourselves. This is why at our inner most core, we all need God and His unconditional love and guidance in this regard. This is not about religion, it’s about relationship.
Many factors come into play that lead a person from whatever age into a gay mindset that range from environmental (toxins in our foods, etc,) to ancestral and father sins or curses that get passed down for generations, personal struggles with identifying with one’s own gender, and in some very rare cases, yes, even demonic influences are very real. (I have been in the occult in my liftime, so, I know this to be true.) There can also be a combination of many of these factors.
Already well known is the fact that a huge number of persons with same-sex attractions really do not want this and, yes, not finding a way out of their struggle do commit suicide–and not as a result of being persecuted for their state of being. So good for you for taking a stand that while you have received an angry backlash from many, the seed has still been planted and the one who is ready to receive understanding into themselves and God’s love and plan for redemption, will be able to find some direction here. There are an amazing number of testimonies out there of persons who through desire, God’s love and understanding into themselves have become free of same-sex attractions. If one were really created to be, or born this way, this could never be possible. We are all liars on many levels but the worst lies we tell are to ourselves because we want to believe them, but they keep us in bondage to things are not healthy for us.
I found my way here because I was searching the net for ways to pray for a friend whom I love who is homosexual. Over time, he voluntarily shared many aspects of his life that were consistent with why he was homosexual. Father abandonment, inability to identify with the majority of his own gender (he was the soft artistic type and not the rugged sports type, overly enmeshed with his mother, as well as spiritual and ancestral curses/sins that have fallen on him. He did not realize at the time I am Christian, as well as had studied the psychology of homosexuality. From the love that bears witness for him in my heart (where the truth lives) I pray for my friend’s salvation and deliverance, and not out of some religious mandate as many gay/lesbian people would be believe we harbor.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Thank you Cheryl for your excellent commentary! Your heartfelt desire for your gay friend’s salvation and deliverance from homosexuality is very beautiful. You are showing not only intelligence and uncompromising faith in God’s will for your friend, but great compassion as well. I will also pray for your friend and hope he comes to the real truth of Christ and escape his enslavement to homosexuality.
I appreciate your gracious reply, Carlotta. Thank you as well for adding your power to my prayer for my friend according to Mathew 18:19, and will remind Jesus that we are in agreement for my friend’s salvation and deliverance (I now do not feel so alone in this.) Many wonderful blessings to you.
this is all new for me , my family has beening dealing with it about a year now together that everyone knows about it.. i think there are times for tough love. but i believe as a christian parent.. we should know they were we stand on the beleive , but i told my son i never would believe it. I staying in pray with jesus,, they are very repectful when they are around and u would never know they were know more than roomates,but i try to show them gods love, being raised in a chritian loving family, i think if this hadn’t ever happen to us i would kept on believe never have anything to do with them, i don’t believe i would ever attend a wedding,, .. but right now i feel like gods wants us to show my son love, not acceptance of his sin but love.. god will deliver him i know.. so beleive this easter with the blood that jesus shed for our sins, he shed them for all our sins.. think about what he did and how much loved that took nobody else could have done that, he was a perfect . the only one.. remember him,, how much forgiveness he has for you.. god bless. happy easter
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Sorry Gail I didn’t get a chance to respond to your posts until now. Thank you for your wonderful comments and I too will be praying for you and your family!
Heloise,
Why did you have to disassociate with your own brother? Haven’t you ever heard of the term UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?
And by the way, when did you CHOOSE to be STRAIGHT?
???
What a great article. Too often Christians candy coat this issue. Sin is sin. I have a brother who is gay and we had to disassociate him. I miss him- I really do- but when I face our Lord one day it will have been worth it. The church needs to tell homosexuals the truth: for all of their insistence they can’t control their feelings they ARE making a choice and it will cost them eternal salvation.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Thank you Heloise! Forgive me for taking such a long time to respond to your comment but I did want to let you know that what you wrote was right on! I completely agree with you that the issue of homosexuality is candy coated by many Christians and churches and sadly church discipline has been thrown out the door! The truth may hurt but if the pain leads to Christ then it is all worth it!
I read this and all I see is hate hidden by “god’s love”. It is this kind of talk that people use to bully and torment gay kids to the point that they kill themselves. Just look at the WBC church, they also claim to spread love. I take personal offense to this because my brother and I are the sons of two wonderful fathers (yes, two gay men actually raised TWO STRAIGHT kids). They raised us with nothing but love and care. I love them more than anything on this Earth. I constantly see “loving” Christians call my fathers the most hateful things. I know this isn’t true of all Christians but I can’t help feeling resentful towards people who claim to “love” but do nothing but hate. Just to let you know, calling innocent people disgusting, unnatural, demented, and “faggots” is not love. The advice I give to Christian parents of gay children is to LOVE them like they always have. It is fine that you believe that homosexuality is a sin, as I’m sure your children know this. I have read too many stories about gay children whose parents have beaten or completely abandoned their own children simply because they are gay. Remember, they are still the SAME EXACT person you raised. The only difference is that now you know they are attracted to the same sex. Tell me, is that reason enough to completely abandon your own child?
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Marc, it appears you didn’t even read my post. I am not a WBC church member who calls gays names and abuses them physically for being so. The advice I give parents and relatives/friends of gays is the same you give – to love them! You are so ready to rant and rave that you failed to calm down enough to see that others actually agree with you. Did you read anywhere in my post to abandon a child if they are found to be gay? No, not here you won’t find that.
So please, before you start accusing a Christian for being hateful like the WBC people, make sure that they are even in that same fold. The WBC is an extreme example of Christianity and most of us don’t consider them true Christians anyway. But the final judge of that of course if God Himself.
I apologize for this late reply. I completely forgot that I even posted here….
Anyways, back on to the topic. Carlotta, I was not accusing you of being a WBC member. I’m sure you can understand the emotions I feel whenever this topic comes up. How would you feel if people told you your parents are unnatural, perverted, wrong etc. Is my family not a family??? I can assure my brother and I are as happy as can be.
Why are we even debating this? The bible says homosexuality is wrong. A million gays could commit suicide it doesn’t change it. What happened to real Christian love? Sin is sin is sin.
I was drawn to this blog because I recently found out that my brother, who I love no matter what, is gay. Reading these comments, I find many Christian people who speak of being gay as a horrible sin to be extremely close minded and pathetic. My mother is a christian and after finding out about my brother, her faith in god has really taken a beating. I am trying to explain to her that it is not GOD that is making her feel this way, it is man made religion. The people who think they are doing the right thing by making homosexuals feel ashamed, embarrassed, disgusting, and sinful are the ones who need to repent their actions. I know my brother personally and I know he would never choose this lifestyle. I can’t imagine how frustrating it would be to be judged by people who have no idea what they’re talking about on a regular basis. People are gay because that’s how their bodies are wired, whether you accept this or not it is the truth. Why would God create his own people just for them to be judged and tormented by others? I think a lot of you are in for a rude awakening when you die and your judgement day comes. Will God be okay with his followers bringing hate and judgement to the world? Think about that. Open your minds, educate yourselves, and think before you say homosexuality is a sin and they have a sinful lifestyle. Making people feel out of place in the world is so wrong in my eyes, and you are doing the opposite of what you preach.
Thank you, Carlotta, for posting this. This is godly counsel that our family needed right now, and I think that is one reason God led me to your blog. I especially appreciate how you have kept your counsel God-centered and biblically-backed. Also by having the testimonies of people who were formerly caught up in the homosexual lifestyle and who have been delivered by the grace of God is a wonderful resource to have. Again, I just love your blog, all the really godly sound resources in one place is fantastic. God bless you!
Twitter: christocentric
says:
You’re quite welcomed F&WM! And very glad that my blog is a help to you! I really appreciate the testimony of the ex-gays also because not only do they give hope to those who struggle with homosexuality, but hope to the families who are praying that they come out of that lifestyle! But like Mark said earlier it is not so much about being gay to straight but an right relationship with Jesus Christ! As one becomes saved, then progresses on their journey to becoming more and more in love with Christ, then the desire and strength develops to do what is right. This is something you also recognized and for any of us to “get that” we are on the right path in getting the message that our homosexual loved ones need! Christ first and the rest will follow! Thanks for your wonderful responses!
Being divorced for certain reasons and remarrying is a sin, and in the bible it is counted as adultry. So if your going to hate on the gays for “lusting” and “living in adultry” and “living in sin” how about you tell all of these things to the people in your church who have been married more than once with an exspouce still living.
Also Jesus himself never said anything about homosexuality he just talked about LOVING EVERYONE. And how do you know that the saints didnt put there on opinion in the bible hmm? Saul persecuted many CHRISTIANS and it took a blinding light from heaven to change his opinion.
Its “Christians” like you who only listen to certain parts of the bible, and condem others that give the true LOVING christians a bad name.
Also we are all sinners. I sin everyday and you sin everyday so why are you focusing on homosexuality?
IF YOU ARE GAY AND READING THIS YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE. GOD MADE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE AND THAT MEANS YOU ARE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE!!!
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Austin, so much focus is on homosexuality because the gay community flaunts their sin instead of mourn it. It’s was of the few immoral lifestyles that openly is defiant to God and challenges the morals of godly living. (An example of the church dealing with such sin is in 1 Corinthians 5:1-3). Homosexuality isn’t the only sin that is dealt with by Christians, but because of its very public display it sometimes appears that it is the only sin people have issues with.
Don’t deceive yourself into believing that you are ok just because you are born that way. If that’s the case, a parent would never have to discipline a child into making them a better individual. They would just tell that child “you are ok just the way you are! Keep doing what you are doing!” We are born as sinners and must be shaped into godliness – and that means changing ANY way we live that is contrary to God’s commandments.
In one breath you appear to know what the bible teaches about many things such as adultery, fornication and even about Paul persecuting Christians as “Saul.” Yet, you turn a blind eye to biblical teachings about homosexuality. That’s what most people do who are practicing sin – pick and choose which things of the bible they want to follow. You are right that Jesus never said anything about homosexuality, including blessing homosexual unions. He did make it clear what he thought marriage was about when asked about divorce by the Pharisees:
Jesus pointed back to the beginning of creation with man and woman forming the marital union and Jesus strongly urged not to put asunder what God created! No where in the entire bible would you find anything about a blessed homosexual relationship. But quite the opposite. Dire warnings about living in that matter:
Twitter: christocentric
says:
“Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil;
Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness;
Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” Isaiah 5:20
You are so right Julie that the bible warns of days when people no longer stand up for righteousness and call it evil, while calling evil good. And yes, those times are here today. It is very sad to see the great apostasy unfolding before our very eyes and in our nation that once stood firm for God.
We must continue praying and sharing God’s word so that souls can be convicted and turn to the truth of God and away from evil!
Great comment!
This life is so very short on earth and no one is promised tomorrow. I believe the Word of God and believe homosexuality is a sin as well as fornication, adultery, lying, stealing etc. To accept this as normal and not a sin would be lying to a person God loves and wants to save so I choose to tell the truth in a loving way. God will and can change “desires” to line up with His will. If a gay person is bent on doing things his or her way, we can only stand in the gap and never cease praying. The bible says there will come a time when good appears evil and evil appears good. We are there. I never could imagine homosexuality being accepted as a normal lifestyle but here we are. I see even some churches turning away from the truth. God forbid.
Another way to put a choice like that in perspective is to think about how you would evaluate the actions of someone whose religion is different from yours. Of course you believe that your religion is right; almost everyone believes that their religion is right.
So envision someone else, to help yourself think about the situation. Imagine a man who believes, with all his heart, that God does not want the races to mix. If that man’s daughter told him that she was marrying a man of a different race, what should he do? Should he avoid attending the wedding? Should he cut off contact with his daughter? Should he tell her at every opportunity that she is sinning and that she is going to hell? Remember, these are his beliefs–and he believes he is right. What should he do? How would you evaluate his decisions?
Pam,
I think when you consider how you feel about your daughter, you have to consider not whether your daughter is acting in accordance with your religious beliefs, but whether she is acting in accordance with her own religious beliefs.
If she has come to the conclusion that she is a lesbian and her life will be better if she marries this woman, it seems pretty likely that her religious beliefs are different from yours. Would you cut off contact with your daughter if she married a Jew, or if she married a Muslim? What if she told you she was converting to another faith?
If you choose not to attend your daughter’s wedding, you should be aware that it is _you_ making the choice not to attend her wedding. Don’t blame it on God, and don’t blame it on your religion. It is _your_ choice, and your daughter will view it as such.
Recently my daughter (mother of 3 and divorced) came to us to inform us that she is a lesbian. We are a very christian family and she was raised that this lifestyle is a sin. We are trying to hate the sin and love the sinner (which is easier when it is not your daughter). so far we are coping and praying. Today my daughter told me that they were considering goig to Vermont to have a leagal marriage and then a mock wedding here at home and she would love for her mother and father to be there. I couldn’t even say a word. I am asking “How do we handle this.? she is my daughter/and best friend”
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Pam, that is such a difficult situation as any wedding should be a time of celebration when ever your children tie the knot. But in this instance, if that was my daughter having a mock wedding in honor of her lesbian marriage, I would kindly tell her that her marriage is a sham in God’s eyes and mockery to His commandments. My presence would not be there. She would have my support as being her mother, but strong disapproval of her marriage can only be met with absentia.
Homosexuality is a sin and with our family and friends although we still love them, we must always stand with God and not sin. Sometimes we must hurt our family/friends with truth but if we truly care, then truth is where we want them. Be sure to look at my video in my video list titled “If you care about your gay friends..” led by Sean McDowell, son of author Josh McDowell (Evidence that demands a Verdict) and my pastor Miles McPherson of the Rock Church San Diego.
Proverbs 27:6
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Praying for your daughter!
praying for your family,, god bless you
Pam please tell me you did not listen to Carlotta. She is a random person on the internet. We are talking about your DAUGHTER. The girl you gave birth to, the girl that you made feel better when they where sick, the girl that has relied on your love her entire life.
And Pam may I leave a thought with you? Did you choose to be straight? I dont believe your daughter chose to be gay. Homosexuality is found in over 1,500 species in nature. And guess what thos animals do not know sin.
Also once you log off of your computer and go back to your family, is it really going to matter what anyone on the internet says? Its easier to hate then to understand. Please do not let Carlotta’s hate influence the love between you and your daughter.
As a gay christian it is hard to show my love for God. But when I read scripture I learn that Sin is Sin and we ALL sin everyday and that if asked for forgivness we have been forgiven. Dont focus on this one sin (If you believe it is sin) but think about how your daughter feels towards God.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Austin, your advice to Pam was right on! “Do not listen to Carlotta.” Yes, do not listen to me but follow the words of our Lord as it is written in the bible. Follow God by obeying Him and what He has revealed in His word and you’ll never go wrong!
What about heresy? There are lots of non-Christian lifestyles where people actually support it as an acceptable lifestyle: Wiccans, pagans, new age religions, Scientologists, Unitarians, not to mention the various heretical Christian religions: Catholics, Mormons, etc. These are all supported socially, and people are “proud” to follow those lifestyles.
I find it interesting that a true believer would would use the word hope as opposed to faith? I would also recommend that a gay family should not be cast out of your family. It is important that as Chistians we show love as a way to help anyone with any situation.
Why would I want to be “born again” at the age of 15 I have been told I am going to hell by my parents, why would I want to confer to such a lifestyle that is so hateful?
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Zachary, I’m sure your parents didn’t mean to hurt you but only want what’s best for your life. Hell is the end result for those who reject Christ, but the bible says that Christ didn’t come to the world to condemn, but to save:
In the book of John chapters 5 and 8 are examples of sinners who Jesus speaks to and whom He forgives, but in each case He tells them to go and sin no more. One sinner Jesus even warned to go and don’t sin again unless a worse thing even happens to him! (John 5:14).
Jesus has compassion for those who truly desire to give up their lives of sin, but dire warnings to those who reject Him and who continue their practice of sin!
So perhaps your parents may have not shared with you heaven and hell out of compassion the way you would have desired, nevertheless Zachary, you still have to face Christ on your own and decide which way your life will go. If that was you Jesus spoke to and said to go and sin no more – what would you have done? What do you decide now?
Killing reproduction? Excuse me? Last time I checked there were six, almost seven billion people in the world, so I am pretty confident in saying that the small population of homosexual humans is in no way endangering reproduction. People in this world are starving to death because we cannot grow food fast enough to support the billions of humans, so does this mean you are murdering people too? After all I don’t see you growing food and spending all of your luxury money helping out the starving people in the world, who could after all, use all the help they could get. Also, most of the heterosexual people on the planet believe it is a choice so let me ask you, when did you choose to allow yourself to be sexually attracted to a human of the opposite gender? You didn’t, plain and simple. If you require more evidence then guide your attention to http://www.skeptictank.org/gaygene.htm . This site further shows evidence on how being a homosexual is not choice or emotion based, but the decision is made by genetics. It could be an alteration in the nucleic acids or it could be perfectly normal, humans do not now yet. Also, for those of you who relate homosexuality to a sin perceived in your religious book of text, show me a single incident in the book where it says that homosexuality is wrong. What, you can’t find one? That’s because they do not exist. In most religious texts it only states that things like incest, and lust-based sexual intercourse is considered a sin, therefore every human in modern society is sinning when they have intercourse. Also, for the woman that connected murder with the non-reproductive life style of homosexuals, last time I checked, “Thou shalt reproduce” was not ingrained onto the ten commandments, although “You shall not kill/murder” is. So next time you decide to post something about how sinfully wrong homosexuality is based on your religion, try to bring fact-based statements, not opinion-based ones.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Question for you Zachary: if the bible says homosexuality IS a sin, would you believe it? The Word of God is quite clear in both the Old and New Testaments that homosexuality is not only a sin, but considered unnatural. Just ask any unprejudiced/biased doctor on the unnaturalness of homosexuality and they would firmly agree with the bible (The Health Risks of Gay Sex).
The New Testament version of homosexuality as a sin:
Nothing nice about homosexuality here as the lusting for men after men and women after women is made quite clear. The adjectives used to describe this lust of the same sex is:
Homosexuality is not only godless, but according to doctors in laymen’s terms it’s just plain nasty. The only thing remains is for those who are practicing this lifestyle, to see the truth about it and then BELIEVE it!
Now as far as that gay gene is concerned, as a mother who has raised five children I do believe there is some truth in one being born genetically disposed to certain traits. I have a son born after the breakup after me and his dad and many of his traits are like his dad whom he was never around: genetics have to be the answer there.
But as a parent, our job is to train children to be good because genetically, we are all programmed to do evil things. So the excuse that one is “born that way” is not going to hold up to God. God has given us the ability to change with His help. So once something is recognized as wrong or sinful, then it is up to us to change it.
Man has no excuse so if you are practicing homosexuality, born with it or not God is not pleased and wants you to stop it.
So the question remains for you Zachary and many who believe as you do is, are you going to believe and accept God’s word and show your love for God by accepting His Son and becoming born again?
amen! couldn’t have said it any better, everyword is bible.. thank you so much,, bless you..
I can’t understand why people feel that it’s not a sin. My God they would not be here if their parents were gay! The bible is right. Sin is Sin…..if you do not change your life style and ask for forgiveness you will go to hell! It’s a choice like any other sin….what’s so right about this sin. Well I guess gays want to stop the growth of humanity. Is that right. Think people think. It’s only a choice……..you can change if you want to. Is it ok to murder. Well they are killing reproduction!
i beleive with you, its is a choice, just like women who choses abortion god don’t hate he is Love!i will never believe this but i do think we should love our children or family show them gods love we supose to love the sinner not the sin,,, who else will help them..
Great post Carlotta!
Everything GOD makes reproduces after its own kind. no homosexual is here becuase of a homosexual union, beloved. all human life is from a heterosexual union. if everyone was a homosexual, human life would cease to exist. that is why ABBA calls homosexuality an abomination.Abba father desires to protect HIS precious creation for our good. GOD CANNOT LIE. given to you in love
Dear Carla,
You’re totally a b***h. Let’s start with that. Why do you think that God would put homosexuality into people in his image on earth if he thought it was so bad? Don’t even try to say that it’s a choice because you’re completely wrong, you would have no idea. Another thing is that when the Bible talks poorly about homosexuality it’s usually referring the the incest, rape, and other bad things that were written about it in the Bible. Another thing is what makes gay marriage so wrong? Is it degrading the value of a heterosexual marriage? News flash, people these days (Christians) are having dozens of marital partners. If you truly love someone in a pure way why shouldn’t you be allowed to make a bond that shows this. The culture from back 2000 years ago is gone. One last thing by disliking homosexual relationships you are frowning upon the entire Greek culture which basically was the foundation of everything today. So keep that in mind the next time you want to commit a hate crime against another human being.
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the reason why pedophiles etc dont have support groups is because those acts are wrong. who would ask to be gay..who would ask to be treated different..who would WANT to be a minority. str8 people will never understand what gay folks go through, so let god judge and know that in the bible it seys that a slave should obey his master, which white people have used to justify slavery. how many more gay kids have to kill themselves before we realize that they just want to have a normal life with their partner..they are not rapists etc. if you want the real deal. check out http://www.jesusmcc.org how many more people are afraid and go blow his head off..so many gay/les christians so this..they commit suicide..gods screaming the truth and through jesusmcc.org gives the answers.
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I am sorry to say you are so wrong.
The Bible says this is a sin justify it if you will you already are but this is sad.
Yes they can help being Gay they chose to act like the oppisite gender. God doesn’t make mistakes he gave them a womans or a mans body from birth. They chose to use it for unclean means.
I believe as many have noticed that they want to be considered a “minority”, they are NOT!
Africains, Asians, Mexicains, persons with disabilities are minorities, they did not choose their impairment or race, they were born that way. Those persons do not deserve to be picked on, scoffed at or make fun of.
Gay persons on the other hand not only go out of their tp whine and cry about something THEY chose and they revel in it! They like being seemly oppressed, they like saying they have went though so so much, they love the attention!
Their behavior wouldn’t be so reprehensible if they had some sence of morality and didn’t jump at every single chance to rub their sick CHOOSEN lifestyle in others faces and in the faces of our children and then equate their supposed “oppression” to that faced by slaves.
Gay also means stupid since you say its the same thing!
Talk about abusing belief systems. Gays in no way have had to endure the horrors that the slaves went though instead they act all wounded over imaginary sores and expect special treatment for them rubbing their filthy behavior in our faces and then dare us to stand up for our beliefs.
Slaves were oppressed, gays that act as if they are need to have to go back in time 200 years ago, be really OPPRESSED, see it firsthand so they don’t confuse it, and see what real oppression was. I do not feel ne bit of pity for a group of disease spreading persons who beg for pity all the while trying to strip us and our children of our morals!
What if God made the child in an ambiguous way? What if they have a XXY chromosome or a YYX? What if they have fragile x syndrome? What if they are not born as a “normal” woman or man?
If someone has an extra chromosome, they can have the phenotype of a particular gender and yet not behave the way one would expect.
I believe God makes us in many wonderful different ways. The people born with genetic differences are loved by Him. Jesus taught that we are to love and accept all.
N, people cannot have an extra chromosome. Being born with an extra chromosome causes Down’s Syndrome. And the part you said about phenotypes was complete rubbish. I suggest you check your sources of info.
In response to all of the above, praying for the deliverance of your child from lesbianism is different than praying for someone to be healed. We must take a stand of ‘faith’ and degree and declare that the individual is what God says she is…not what the devil is whispering into her ear. Words spoken into existence never go away..they keep going (scientific researched evidence validating God’s Word) to all. It is our job as parents to stand in ‘faith’ that God will do what He says He will do. It’s true that the individual may be choosing to confess that they are a lesbian and choosing to live that way, however, the ‘truth’ is that, my daugher, is who God says she is and every time I declare her as a rightious woman of God saved by His blood….it cancells out what the enemy says to her she is. Homosexuality is a sin that comes with a judgement. It goes against the natural order of God. God has promised me in His Word to raise up a child in the way they should go and when they are old..they shall return. He also says that if my household is saved so shall my family be saved. I choose to believe God….my daughter has the rightious heart of a woman of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. A child who grows up with out a ‘loving relationship’ with their biological father (researched based-but biblical truth) will have tendancies to be pulled toward the same sex relationships. The same goes for children who are abused in any way emotionally/mentally. Our job as parents of wayward children is to show them ‘unconditional’ love. Love covers a multitude of sins. We don’t choose to accept or support the sin, but we are called to love our children unconditionally.
It is heartbreaking and ‘unthinkable’ to have to face ….one day…that your child believes they are attracted to the same sex.The good news is …’they are not dead’…just believing the lies of the enemy. The Word of God says that the steadfast prayer of a rightious man availeth much. I believe God…my daugher is saved and on her way to Heaven in Jesus’ mighty name. My job is to pray her into the Kindom…it’s God’s job to take the scales off of her eyes and draw her to Him. I pray daily Hosea 2:6 over my daughter and decree and declare what God says about her. I believe with all my heart that God is in control of her situation…and it is a sin for me to worry about it. I trust God…and I believe when I pray. All things work together for the good of those who serve the Lord. My daughter is saved by His blood. She is a mighty woman of God and she will lead many into the Kingdom of God.
I say that as parents we are to show only ‘love’ toward our children who may be on the wrong road. If we love them with the same love that Jesus’ loves us, and if we trust in Almightly God..and stand firmly on what He says, then our children are ‘saved’ and the battle is already won. Thank you Jesus’ for saving my daughter. Thank you Jesus’ that she is a heterosexual created in your image and that she is going to do might exploits in your name…..in Jesus’ name.
Amen!!
Yes…I am a mother who believes that my daughter is delivered from this spirit of perversion and the manifestation of the truth of who she is is coming. She will get married and have children. She will minister in song to lost souls and thousand will be lead into the Kingdom of the God of Israel. I thank you God for strengthening me..For ..’it is God who arms me with strenght and makes my way perfect.’
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I learn few years again that a son of my was dealing with this,, I never knew it . he says it had been a battle since middle school. he came and told me when he 20.. He was raised in a christian home. I felt that god call me to have the 2 children that god has bless me with. this is the worst nightmare i could have imagine to happen to one of my children.. but i know its not… he got save at a eary age. He has work for the lord and been in sunday his whole life,, he couldn’t do enough , the community had such love for him, everybody loves him so much, we really couldn’t understand the love he draw.. i knew it was god. my other child is working for the lord and doing mission trips and help and much as she can.. i have cried i even thought i wasn’t going to make it, there were alot of things we had been going though it just kept coming, i want u all to know that god had taught me to love my son, i tell him my feelings and what the bible sasays, and everyone believes that he will be delivered, i believe and have say the same words this mother above me has said thats why i am replyin, i do we and praise god that my son is delivered, i know he will go to heaven and be a worker for god . this is all for a reason ,, but god will make away for us to go though it… god has given me strength that i never knew about, i have learned to take one day at a time one hour one minute even one breath… but we have such a wonderful God, i started christian counseling couldn’t affor it. had to stop after a few sections, it when about six months, i was feeling anixous again but i never doubted that god was in control and i was and still keeping the faith.. so i called a church the set me up with one i couldn’t aford her but she heard some of my story and wanted to have prayer with me i yes i would appericate it so much,, well the next day she call me back and told me about this lady who is getting her master in couseling, and she would do it for free, today was my 2 visit, and god presence was so there and i told her God bought us together .. i Just want to praise him for all my prayers answer and him blessing my family so. when we are going though rough times we should be praising him more.. i hope this may have help someone.. stay on knees , read the bible and just find a place u love and can fill god love and listen he will talk to you and he will enjoy your time so much.. remember how much time we want with our children he wants that from us. lets all rebuke satan an foot him under our feet, and make him our footstool… lets all pray and keep prayin without ceasing and we will see jesus move in our life ,, praise god,, i love u jesus,, praise your name..
I thank you mothers for sharing your stories and your prayers. My daughter is going in the wrong direction too. She has been struggling with the same sex attraction for 8 years. I know the enemy thinks he has won the battle, but the battle was won at the cross! I too believe my daughter is going to be helping other young girls see the light of Christ. God is faithful.
She still goes to church, I am glad for that. I truly believe that she will feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit! I Will never give up on her. I will love her always. But I will never compromise what the word of God said…I too believe that our daughters will someday get married and have children and will serve God!
Thank you for your post, Mother.
Thank you sweet mother for your precious words. Please know that the time you took to write this has changed the way I will get up in the morning. Hosea 2:6 is a comforting verse I will say every day knowing God is indeed control. I wish I knew you and could share my story. You are a true encouragement. Thank you and God bless you.
This is all new to me and my wife. We were hit with this over Christmas. I’ve read much, prayed, much, cried even more. I appreciate all the comments here. Most are very helpful. I can’t do the “tough love” thing and not associate with my daughter. I hope that isn’t what is being said by Carlotta. And the other side is a christian who still practices their gay life while attending church. Should this be allowed? I don’t know either way. But I believe this: I will let my daughter no in no uncertain terms what I believe and what God says about her sin. But I will not shun her, alienate her, or push her away out of “tough love.”
Just read a great quote. Billy Graham was asked on 20/20, “would you still love your son if he was gay?” Billy Graham didn’t even hesitate and said; “I would love him MORE!” That is my response. I can only now pray that God will deliver my daughter from her sinful lifestyle. I will not tolerate gay activity in my home, but my daughter and her lover are always welcome. Her partner needs Jesus too! And I will enter into loving discussions whenever possible, and the Holy Spirit moves.
Just my 2cents.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
“Dad of Gay Daughter,” family members who are professing Christians and are practicing the gay lifestyle, we need to practice some type of tough love and that depends upon the circumstances. If you have dependent children who still live at home, they would of course be treated differently than the adult child who’s on their own. If the church practices church discipline as outlined in 1 Corinthians 5:9-13, then the disobedient Christian would be kicked out of the church. This is not the repentful Christian who is struggling with their sin, but the defiant person who has no intentions of giving up their sinful lifestyle. We are living in the days and times now where even the church is weakening its stance on homosexuality. Now we have gay-affirming churches so even if a church excommunicates a member, they would probably easily find another church that will allow them to practice their homosexuality while remaining members.
It’s really tough dealing with family members as such but prayer first, love always and discipline and accountability all go hand in hand. I love my gay relatives and friends and don’t treat them like they are monsters. Most of them don’t even claim to know Christ and are treated like anyone else. My Gay nephew and his boyfriend were invited to my daughter’s college graduation and joined in the festivities as the rest of the family. My nephew knows where his auntie and cousins stand on homosexuality, but he was accepted nevertheless. Just one of many examples how we can not waiver from our beliefs but yet still treat people decently who differ from our given lifestyles.
But my prayers are with you that your daughter will be delivered from homosexuality. It appears you are doing all that you can and as long as she knows from you that you stand scripturally against her lifestyle, at least she won’t get emotional support for her homosexual relationships.
The difference between gay people and adulterers, cheaters, and pedophiles is that adulterers, cheaters, and pedophiles are hurting another person in their sex act by definition. Loving and having sex with another woman or man isn’t hurting them, necessarily, unless rape or cheating is involved–just like straight sex. Adultery is breaking a very serious promise, and pedophilia is rape.
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Thanks for the post. This has got to be a hard thing to do. God bless her.
Mark put it well and eloquently.
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Yes it is very hard for anyone to deal with Edgar and Mark did say it well. I’ve dealt with this just as an outside family member but for my relatives within their immediate families, this must be tremendously difficult.
Homosexuality is such a “different” sin as its the only one where people are actually supporting it as an acceptable lifestyle. No adulterers, cheaters, pedophiles, swingers and others are lobbying or protesting their very existence. Nor are Christians being condemned for not accepting the “other” lifestyles like they are when not accepting homosexuality. That attitude is present in most of the gays in my family/friends households as they are insisting that we accept their lifestyles as their supporters do.
It’s tough…but all we can do is treat them with tough love and keep on going!
I have learned over the years that God is perhaps less interested in making “gay” folks “straight”, as He is in transforming hearts to be set upon Him and His word. In other words, sexual sin (porniea) isn’t isolated to the “gay – straight” dicotomy, it is a human condition of living in a fallen world; all people are affected (daily battles are waged). What makes same sex relationships more abhorrent to God, is the fact it utterly courpts His image (man being made in His image). All sin leads to death, but not all sin is equally destructive to man’s spiritual and physical being. It is for our benefit to resist all porniea, the law therefore reflects His grace, not His wrath. Blessings Carlotta!
Twitter: christocentric
says:
Well said Mark! I’ve come across several types of gays in my own family: the ones who could care less about God and the ones who sit up in church every Sunday and call themselves Christian with no desire to change their lifestyle. The prayer in both cases is for their salvation – not just that they change their gay lifestyle. Their change will come through a very real conversion to Christ. True repentance and true salvation.
Thanks for your wise input!
Great insight, Mark! If we each concentrated on our relationship with our Creator and Savior and kept in His Word so we know it, and know Him, and obey Him, then like you said, Mark, it becomes less an issue of which sin has the most impact, but rather our time and hearts are filled with doing the will of our God in a manner pleasing to Him. If we can grasp onto that, and hang on to Him with all we’ve got and rely on Him to keep us in His righteous care, then we don’t have to worry about categorizing sins. I’m a sinner; by the grace of my Savior I’m a sinner saved. You put it better than I did, but I just wanted to tell you that I appreciated your insight. God bless you!